Thrill Seeker (Kings of Vengeance MC Book 5) Read online

  “Because that is how we want it, Deedra. We’re not into broadcasting our business to the whole world.”

  She took a huge bite of her burger. “Then it’s a good thing no one cares.” She set her burger down and moved to her steaming bowl of soup. “Eat your food before it gets cold. I don’t want to hear you complain that your French fries are shit because you let them sit.”

  “I’m not joking about this, Deedra. I know the club is some little joke to you, but there are things going on that no one needs to know about.”

  She wiped her mouth with her napkin. “You know words like that excite me, Point. What is going on that no one needs to know about?” Her eyes lit up and she quirked an eyebrow.

  And just like that, her little quip calmed me. I chuckled and shook my head. “Just let me know if your little informant knows anything else about the club.”

  She saluted me. “You got it, Mr. Biker.”

  “That what you’re gonna call me now?”

  She shrugged and took another bite of her burger. “If the shoe fits. Might as well put that sucker on and lace it up, right?” She sat back in the booth and sighed. “Can we move onto something else now?”

  I took a bite of my patty melt and moaned. “You can never go wrong ordering a greasy ass patty melt from here.”

  She eyed my plate.

  “You wanna try it?”

  Her eyes darted to mine. “I mean, if you don’t mind. My burger is good, but yours looks a hell of a lot better.”

  I cut it in half and lifted it to her mouth. A pull of stringy cheese hung from the plate to the sandwich. “Oh, cheese,” she whispered. “You know my inner Wisconsin girl comes out when the cheese comes out.”

  She leaned forward and took a huge bite. Cheese dripped down her chin and she swiped it away with her finger.

  “You still got a cheese drawer?” I laughed. I set the patty melt down and licked the grease off my fingers. Deedra had an obsession with cheese. She blamed it on her youth growing up in Wisconsin.

  She moaned and closed her eyes. “Oh, my God, that is good.” She licked her lips and smiled. “And I now have two cheese drawers.” She opened her eyes. “I had to get a new one in the last move, and you can bet your ass I made sure there was plenty of room for cheese.”

  “There were a couple things I knew to never keep from you. Cheese was one of them.”

  She laughed. “You are right about that.” She took a sip of her tea. “What are the other things?”

  I held up one finger. “Cheese is a food group. If you were having a bad day, a good hunk of cheese would go a long way in making it better.” I added one more finger. “My sweatshirt.” I lowered my voice. “The one I know you still have.”

  Her cheeks turned pink. “Uh, which one? I mean, I might have something like that.”

  I shook my head. I knew damn well she had it. When I realized she had taken it when she had left, it gave me a little sliver of hope that she really did still love me. “Pretty sure a close inspection of your drawers would find it.”

  She waved her hand. “Continue with what you think you know about me.”

  I held up three fingers. “Your job. Nothing can or will stand between it and you.”

  She shrugged. “I mean, that’s right, but it sounds way more harsh when you say it like. And it’s not like I love my job most. It’s just that I kind of need to have a job so why not be the best at what I do, right?”

  “At the sake of everything else in your life?” I asked.

  Her eyes dropped to her half-eaten burger. “I think it’s time for another subject change.”

  I shook my head. “No. This subject is pretty much going to lead us into what we’re here to talk about.”

  She sighed and looked up at me. “Can I at least have one more bite of your sandwich before you ruin my dinner?” She reached across the table and grabbed my patty melt. She took another bite then looked down at her burger. She grabbed it, set it on my plate, and kept the half of patty melt to herself. “If you’re gonna make me possibly cry, then I get your food.”

  “Fair enough,” I chuckled.

  She took another bite and waved her hand toward me. “Commence with whatever you want to talk about.”

  I waited ‘til she finished chewing and dropped the sandwich to her plate.

  “Why did you leave me, Dee?”

  Her face paled, and she dropped her chin to her chest.

  I wasn’t going to beat around the bush. She had given me the bullshit excuse of not loving me anymore, but that was just that…bullshit.

  “I told you when I left,” she whispered.

  “Bullshit,” I seethed. “No way in hell you stopped loving me at the drop of a hat. We were good, and then, you were fucking gone. What changed in the matter of seconds for you to not want to be with me? Was I not good enough for you? Did I not treat you right? What the hell did I do?”

  Everything I should have said the day she left me bubbled out. I wasn’t leaving this restaurant without getting answers.

  “It wasn’t any of that, Point.” She listlessly stirred her spoon around in her soup.

  “Then what in the hell was it, Dee? What made you leave?”

  She closed her eyes and dropped her spoon. “I didn’t know how to love you, Point. I didn’t know how to give you what you needed.”

  “What in the fuck does that mean?” I spat. “From where I was sitting, I never once thought you didn’t know how to love me.”

  “I didn’t know how to be me while I was with you without then neglecting you.”

  And now I was thoroughly confused. “What in the fuck are you talking about?”

  I didn’t mean to be so harsh, but seriously, what the fuck?

  She groaned and pushed away her plate. “This is why it was just easier to tell you I stopped loving you. You wouldn’t and don’t understand what I’m saying.”

  “Because it’s like you’re speaking a different language, Dee. Why the hell couldn’t you be you if you were with me? I fell in love with you, so why wouldn’t I want you to be you with me?” I had just confused myself all over again.

  “Can we please not do this, Point? It’s in the past, and that’s where it needs to stay.” She glanced over her shoulder where the waitress had disappeared. “Let’s just get the check and call it a night.”

  “You’re not going to run away from me again, Deedra. I’m not the same guy I was three years ago who just sat by and watched you walk out of my life.”

  She grabbed her purse and hitched it over her shoulder. “I don’t want to do this. I’m not going to do this.”

  I reached for her hand, but she snatched it away. “What in the hell is going on, Dee? What are you running from?”

  She sniffled and scooted out of the booth. “I’m running from hurting you.”

  “Leaving me is meant to not hurt me?” I snapped. “Are you fucking high? Not one fucking thing you’ve said has made sense.”

  She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I know, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m sorry, Point. I never meant to hurt you then, and that’s not what I’m trying to do now.”

  Dee dashed from the diner and out the front door.

  “Son of a bitch,” I shouted. I pulled out my wallet, dropped a fifty on the table, and followed her.

  She was running.

  Again.

  It wasn’t going to work this time.

  I wasn’t letting her go.

  *

  Chapter Ten

  Best I ever had…

  Deedra

  Dammit.

  Dammit.

  Dammit.

  Why couldn’t I speak?

  Why couldn’t I say what I felt?

  I’m afraid I’m going to lose myself, Point. I’m worried I’m going to fall so in love with you that I won’t know where you end and I begin. I’m destined to lose myself in you, and it terrifies the hell out of me because part of me is okay with it.

  There.<
br />
  That is what I needed to say but noooo. I couldn’t say that. I said everything but that.

  He wouldn’t understand that, though. He would think it was something he was doing to make me feel that way when, in reality, it had nothing to do with him. It was my own heart wanting to dissolve into him and never surface entirely.

  It was a miracle I was able to dash to my car and rocket out of the parking lot without Point seeing me.

  I turned onto my street, and my stomach dropped.

  Right there, parked in front of my duplex, Point sat on his motorcycle.

  How?

  How in the hell had he managed to beat me home?

  Also, how in the hell did he know where I lived?

  I parked in the driveway in front of the garage and killed the engine. I didn’t get out, though. Maybe if I just sat in my car, I could wait him out, and he would just eventually leave.

  I watched him in my rearview mirror, but my hopes of waiting him out were dashed when he slid off his bike and strutted up the driveway. My hand darted out and hit the door lock.

  Point stood in front of my door. “Really?” he called.

  “I can’t open the door. You should probably go,” I shouted. More like I didn’t want to open the door. “The lock is broken. I’ll just spend the night here.”

  “I saw you hit the lock, Deedra.”

  I held up my hands and shrugged. “Really? Maybe you should get your eyes checked. I was trying to unlock it, but it’s not working.”

  He pointed his finger at me. “Open the door, Dee.”

  His voice was raised, and I knew it was only a matter of time until my neighbors heard him and came out to see me arguing with a biker in my driveway.

  “I don’t want to,” I countered. Like, really did not want to.

  Point turned his head and raised his hand. “Hi. Nothing to see here.”

  What?! I scrambled to unlock the door and jumped out of the car. I did not need my neighbors seeing this. I looked in the direction Point had been talking, but no one was there.

  “You asshole,” I seethed. “You tricked me.”

  He grabbed my hand, pulled me out of the way of the door, and slammed it shut. “You always were surprisingly gullible.”

  “I am not gullible,” I whined. “And I need my purse out of the car.”

  Point tightened his grip on my hand. “You’re not going anywhere, Dee. I let go of your hand, and you run into the house and lock me out.” He opened the door, managed to grab my purse, and slammed the door again. “I’m not as gullible as you.”

  “Calling me gullible is just as bad as your friends calling me a bitch.”

  He pulled me toward the front door. “We really going to go back to debating this shit?” We stopped in front of the door. “Open it,” he demanded.

  I didn’t want to. “I think this is where we end our night. It was nice seeing you again, Point, but I think you and I never seeing each other is for the best.”

  Or at least not for thirty or so years. Fifty would be nice.

  Point stared at me.

  “You weren’t this intimidating when we were married.” He was strong and very much the alpha in our relationship, but he wasn’t this intense.

  “We’re still married,” he growled. “Open the door.”

  I tipped my head back and looked up at him. “If I didn’t know you, I would be slightly afraid of you right now.”

  “Are you?” he asked.

  I paused for a beat. “Well, no. I don’t think you’ve changed so much to where you’d hurt me.”

  He lowered his voice and leaned toward me. “I’d never hurt a hair on your head, Dee, let alone lay a finger on you.”

  My heart skipped a beat. I stuck the key in the lock and twisted.

  “You had to hear me say I wouldn’t hurt you?” he drawled.

  I shook my head and pushed open the door. “No. I saw the old Point.” It was the first time I had really seen him. I held open the door and motioned for Point to come in. “Let’s get this over with.”

  He closed the door behind him, and I led the way to the kitchen.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  I opened the freezer and pulled out a tin foil pan. “Heating up dinner since you ruined ours at the restaurant.”

  My stomach rumbled at the thought of leaving the delicious patty melt on my plate. The lasagna I made and froze a month ago was going to have to do.

  “Pretty sure you were the one who ran out, not me.”

  I shrugged and laid the pan on top of the oven. I cranked the temperature to three-seventy-five and took the foil off the top of the pan. “Because you kept talking about things I didn’t want to talk about.”

  Point moved to the table and sat down. “You want to know the thing that surprised me the most when you left?”

  Ugh. He didn’t take the hint that we needed to stop talking about any of this. “What surprised you?”

  His voice was quiet and soft. “The fact you ran. I never took you for someone who would just run away when things got slightly tough.”

  I slid the pan into the oven. I turned to face him and leaned against the counter. “I didn’t run because things were tough. I ran because I didn’t know how to love you and not lose myself.” Bloody hell, I had finally said what I actually wanted to. “How was I supposed to make a life with you and live my dream while wondering if you were giving up your dream for my dream?”

  Okay, that came out a little confusing, but it at least came out.

  “I think that’s the first coherent thing you’ve said to me all night.” He laid his arm on the table and kicked his legs out in front of him. “Not that I exactly understand why you feel that way, but I get it.”

  “Good. You can let yourself out then.” I had said it and now it was time to go.

  Point chuckled. “You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, Dee.”

  “That only happens if I tell you I don’t love you anymore, right?” It was an ill-timed joke. I laughed lamely and sighed. “Ha.”

  “Stop trying to scare me away, Dee.”

  “That’s like the tenth time you’ve called me that. You know I hate when people shorten my name.” One of my biggest pet peeves was being called Dee. Do it and I stopped liking you. Unless your name was Point. He did it just to drive me crazy.

  “You hate it when everyone but me calls you Dee,” he countered.

  “Only because you refused to not do it.” I folded my arms over my chest. “Now that I think about it, it seemed to be your goal to call me Dee whenever you could.”

  He shrugged. “I know how to push your buttons. That’s what married people are supposed to do, right?” he chuckled.

  So the truth comes out. “I think you might have that a little sideways. Your goal in life should not have been to annoy me.”

  “Kept you on your toes, Dee.”

  I grunted. “The game is up, Point. It’s Deedra. Unless you’d like me to call you by your real name.” A name he hated that I never called him because I knew he didn’t like it.

  Point shook his head.

  “Is that a no? You wouldn’t like that?” I laughed. “But…I guess it is my job to push your buttons since we are still married, right?” If he could do it to me, I could do it to him.

  His name was on the tip of my tongue.

  “Don’t,” he warned.

  A smirk spread across my lips. “Don’t call you Wendel?” I tapped my finger on my chin. “You don’t like to be called Wendel Schmid?”

  “You’re playing with fire, Dee,” he growled.

  “Stop calling me Dee, and I’ll step away from the fire, Wendel,” I reasoned. Though I liked standing next to his fire. It heated me to the core and I didn’t want to step away from it.

  Point slowly stood. “You first, Dee.”

  He ambled over to me and caged me in with his arms on either side of me. I had plenty of time to move and get out of the way, but it seemed my feet were glued
to the floor.

  “How about we both agree to not do…that?” Point being so close to me was making my brain foggy. “Yes?”

  He leaned into me. “No.”

  A simple word that somehow made a shiver run through me. “Uh, what was the question?”

  Fried brain complete.

  Point’s lips were a breath away from mine. “The question is, do you still love me?”

  His closeness, the smell of his woodsy cologne, and his breath on my skin were too much to handle.

  “Yes,” I breathed out. I couldn’t deny it anymore. I never stopped.

  Not even for one second.

  “I never stopped, Dee. Even when you tried to throw my heart in my face and walked out on me. I knew you were still mine even if you said you didn’t want me.” His lips brushed against mine, and the world stood still. “I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

  The words broke my heart. I had this man, and then, I had foolishly thrown him away because I wasn’t able to make heads or tails of my feelings. “I’m sorry for what I did.”

  He reached up and cradled my cheek. “I’ve wanted to hear those words come out of your mouth for three years. With each day that went by where I didn’t get papers served to me, I held out hope that you were still mine.”

  I was still his. Sure, there had been one or two men since I had left, but right here in this moment, I couldn’t even remember their names, let alone think they were better than Point. “I wasn’t a saint,” I blurted out. “I mean, I wasn’t a ho-ho, but I wasn’t Mother Mary, either.”

  Point chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I would have told you that you were full of shit if you tried to tell me you were a born-again-virgin since we broke up.”

  A horrible thought floated into my head. Point had been with other women. More than likely, a lot more than the two men I had been with. My eyes dropped to the cut he was wearing—a lot of women, seeing as he was part of the club.

  “I wasn’t a saint either, Dee.”

  My eyes darted to his. “Stop reading my mind, and I don’t want to know.”